Last night...What?

Well, fuck me sideways, I can't believe I'm still alive. Not after last night. Fucking head hurts and I can barely keep my eyes open. Now my whole body hurts like a motherfucker. Seriously, what happened? Last thing I remember...Ow, it's coming back to me...Little by little, throught that alcohol drenched mist that clouds my brain...There I was, at the parade we have every year, to show off how awesome our college is. I remember talking to "my people", walking and drinking, talking to this girl, drinking, meeting this chick, walking, singing college themes, drinking, "what do you mean there's no more martini?", walking, talking to that girl - "fill my cup now, I'm thirsty.", drinking, "it's hot today, hu?", finish the martini bottle I stole from God knows who, "bro, I need beer. Gimme two, it's hot today.", sit in a corner, "hurry up!" and finish the beer in a heartbeat. Fuck this shit, I'm going home. "Hello there, pretty thing. Would you happen to have...Beer?...Why, thank you, angel. Oh, one more...It's...For my friend." I walk for the longest, most slippery 4kms of my life, only to reach my door...But,wait..."Fucking stairs, don't iue knowe aaaaaaaaiiiiiii aam dr...dr...drunke? Fuck you!". Two steps up is all it takes for my ass to fall on the ground and take me with it. After, what, 3 minutes? Yeah, after 3 minutes, I finally get up, get inside (dunno how I managed to open the doors), take all of my clothes off, but leave the tie on - fuck the haters, ties are god level clothing - and go to sleep. 13 hours later, I get up with this massive headache and write my "adventures". Would I do it again? Fuck yeah, only this time around I'd have that pretty little angel...Help me get home safely...

Gone

Gone are my teenage years and, with them, my anger, alas, not my sorrow. Days, there are, when a man feels like a king with no crown, only to come down and be reminded he's royal, indeed...A royal fuck-up.

A Return?

Wow. It has been a while. Not that anyone cares, but I have been away from the blog for the past 6 months. Wow. It has been a while. Well, at least two things have come to happen during this long, long time. First, I am not the same happy go-lucky boy I was when I first started this gig, and you'll come to know why, probably. Secondly, my life has become more eventful, which, for better or for worse, means I am more stimulated to write, be it ranting, complaining, or...Something else I'm yet to figure out. So, go get a drink (might I recommend you a glass of white russian?) and stick around. See you in a few.

The truth about Easter

Evening. Today I bring you the truth...About Easter (guess what? It's just what the title says!). Since I  was 7 and found out Santa was a drunken midget who slips into your house to watch your mom sleep in the nude, I've started to wonder about the whole "3 day respawn" thing. I mean, don't get me wrong. I think J.C put on a kickass magic show with the whole dying and coming back 3 days later. I wish I could pull something like that because, you know, the last dude to do it died nearly 2000 years ago and is still famous. I hear he has pointy hat fans too. Good for him. Anyhow, this oh-so-special time of the year is (supposedly) meant to honor that respawn delayer...Yet I never really got around as to why the hell everyone would tear apart innocent chocolate bunnys and feast on their remains. Until now. Yes, my friends, I've unconvered the mystery. Behold:





So now you know. I hope you will honor this saviour too.

Happy Easter, m'kay?

Screw (not to say fuck) it

Hey. I'm pissed off. What the hell can I make of the idiotic actions of some people "around" me?

I mean, one meets someone and they talk.They get along (or so does the one dumbass think)

and out of the blue, the git (the someone) stops and foils later attempts of starting

another pointless chat. I guess I don't understand this "fuck you, I only talked to you to get

my pit-low self esteem a bit up" because I'm from a small town where people actually enjoy

talking and are not, you know, fucked up in the head...So very fucked up. Well, maybe

daddy issues run deeper than I ever thought possible but, whatever. I guess I'll keep on rambling on!

(high five for some Led Zep inspiration!)

Later, dudes and dudettes.

Hey. It's that time of the year. Not that, the other one. The dress-in-pink-and-go-get-me-some-goddamn-chocolate! day. I know a lot of you like it, hell...Under the right circumstances I'd like it too (no way I'm telling you what those are x])...But they're never gonna happen, so forget it. Now. Seriously. We cool? Good. This is that one day that freaks me out even more than a vacuum freaks out a dog. Why, you ask? (Or are those the little voices in my head again...?) Let's see..There's the giant, stroke victim hearts, the assassin angels (you think they're cute? Try having six of them pointing their arrows at you and saying 'where's yo money, b***h?!') and the -taking some meds to calm down- the plush bears. Yes. The plush bears. Those things are pure evil, I tell you! One minute they say they love you, the other they're impaling you. Don't believe me? Here's some proof a friend took from the lab where they are born. Unfortunately, he was killed by them, while trying to escape. So you could have this information. Mourn him, send me money...Do some good!


(secret proof)

Still Alive

Oh, man. I've been so high on Christmas and so sleep deprived during the dude-yer-dead-month (whole month of exams...f***king hell) that I've forgot I actually have a place where I can restore my (extremely low, trust me) mental sanity. I know, I know, but, you see, I haven't forgotten you. I've just been busy, babe ;) [did I just call a blog babe...and winked at it...?]  Herm...Movin' on. After my extremely long vacation (that lasted two whole days!) I'm back on college...where I'll have to study like a *insert funny nerd term* for another...semester. Sweet. Six more months of grinding like a *reinsert funny nerd term*. Well, at least now I'll [probably] know where all the muscles are (hint: not at Mcdonald's trashcans. Only fingers there). Wish me luck, send me cash...whatever you like best. Oh and see you in a few *insert time reference*.